Malor

So, it has been a few quiet weeks. Chilling is making my energy level go up and down, thought the ups are getting longer. Relaxing is letting a few of the more pernicious stress symptoms out for a spin and I am going through all those phases where I alternatively feel sad, low on self esteem and angry before going on a frightening high on the simplest things. Sleep is finally normalizing, but I have been having odd stomach craps at the most inconvenient moments which resulted me mostly staying home and resting a lot. I take hints, body. Now chill.

Car got checked and will be golden for another year. Managed to take care of a few things in the house that had been bothering me but required some organizational effort in getting it locked and loaded. Also re-ordered my entire collection of audio books, always good.
As far as doing things I am sticking to targets of opportunity. Went over to Ro & Peet to talk characters with a few Yoshida-members-to-be and it was good. Got later then I'd planned and spending a good time with friends in that fashion is something I should do more often. And Jolanda managed to get time off for DF so if the Yoshida Weekend works out we're golden!
Visited an ex-pat school friend who was on holiday in Krimpen. Met her husband too and had a good time 'back home': she was staying over at her parents house and that place has not changed one little bit. I get to be nostalgic.
Finally finished an old Alternity campaign with a bang: on our final mission the team barely scrapped through by virtue of their heavily armored hardsuits and solid tactics. The action was fast-paced and cinematic.
I went to the dietitian to talk about the last kilo's I want to shed, and after running through my exercise schedule and food habits the news is not great: apparently I am doing most things right. I had really hoped I'd be missing a few big points here and there, but except for the occasional banana she did not have a lot of 'big wins' for me. 'Slow and it will go' is apparently my bodytype's motto. I can cut out milk completely and eat a bit more fish, but that will likely not significantly impact my weight at all. Muscle percentage is pretty good (esp. considering the levels in the Geek Prestige Class), fat percentage is only just inside the yellow zone and will only require time to get in the green.

I am keeping it chill this week, with only a visit from family planned so far. Got an outing with work that will involve shooting Account Managers so I am not missing that. I am also bringing full tactical gear. Live in your world, get pwned in mine...
A few days later I get to grab the tactical gear again for the Chronos playtest - testing the battlesystem in various scenarios is a big part of it, and I have been re-reading the entire system to make sure I am properly prepped for the bit that does not involve nerf-darts. End result should be a good amount of info the SLs can use to either confirm or tweak their system for this larp - set to launch in November.
Already put in plenty of research into the 'new unit' for Chronos whole our intrepid 'gear guys' Gert and Gijs are laying out uniform / grooming standard options. The first framework for our techy stuff is also in the proof-of-concept stage and I am very happy not to be the one doing that - sticking to just 'gunzzz' this time. Most of my efforts have gone into fleshing our the first bits of background so we can place it into the hands of the orga in a timely fashion. We have been able to transfer a lot of the hard-won experience for Unity to have a few clear 'minimum standards' and what we want to set up for the first event and my planning-nerd is happily well-prepared for the basic logistics of it all. There are even tentative plans for a whole new generation of gear if certain things go the way we hope them to go. Delightful.

In my more vulnerable moments the ol' Gino-vibe has been playing up (pun intended) which I have channeled into some productive clearing of old larp-stock and some dressing-up to see which kit needed replacing. I had to let go a very tempting offer to play next weekend due to business, but luckily Bertram van Xanten is ready to go for Omen as soon as I found a replacement for his broken pole-arm.
All in all, I am not doing bad. Financial stuff sees me having to curb a few of my long term plans, but I can fill them with good short term plans and goals, to see how far I can come.

A fair while ago I remarked upon "not being afraid of being vulnerable" in context of larping. Evaluating myself in the last few weeks have made one thing clear: I am not there yet.

But progress is there. I should be (mostly) replaced at work by next week. This is still later then agreed and then I liked so there will be a few stern discussions in that regard. I also have the fear that my work the last few months has not been up to spec and that I will catch flak for that. But I have to move on if only for myself.

Energy is trickling back in, with the occasional large surge at inconvenient moments. I still have to be careful doling out that energy - if I choose to put myself in a potentially vulnerable condition I have to be damned sure that the expenditure in resources (mental, physical or financial) is totally worth it. This makes a few things hard, especially when I know I am missing things - by choice or design - that I wanted to be a part of. But so be it.

A lot of people have gone out of their way to make me feel better, in small ways and big. So to them I say "thank you" and I hope to be able to pay it forward in the near future.

After work replacement the next step is to work in various home things (hopefully combined with Lies having found something either short or long term in the way of a job) and then carefully work my way back up my to-do list. Still have awesome things planned with various friends so those will be high on the list - starting with those that won't require me to expend too much valuable energy.

So, in the end: carefully optimistic. Seen the abyss, and I think I have skimmed it too close for comfort but are slowly moving back. Now hope that the light at the end of the tunnel is not the oncoming train.

So, as promised a bit ago. A glimpse into the conundrum my mind is in at the moment.

Happiness-wise, I aint doing too well. I have a few areas of my life which I consider important that are not going as they should. As I hoped they would. We all have things that make us feel good about ourselves. Achievements, positions, certain friends, connections or resources. With me, it is making sure stuff is in order and stable. The main problem: I feel stuck. I feel that I have made a lot of good decisions and wise choices, and they have led to a juncture where I am functionally stuck. All due to perfectly reasonable and explainable causes, few of which are something that I could have done anything about. Yet here I am.

A while ago my work gave me a challenging customer, and I think I handled it well. The systems have been built into a solid, dependable server-park and the diplomatic situation has been mostly resolved - the bits that haven't been fixed have stayed where they are at the specific request of the customer. Then I was done and wanted out. This is months ago. Since then I've been stuck. I have expressed the urgent need for this since last September, going so far as to state blunty that I was 'very unhappy'. And yet things move slowly, and it seems that from the moment I pushed the red alert button to the moment that I am finally relieved 9 months have passed. Normally you are only supposed to be at the customer for 9 months, maximum.
And it begs the question, why don't I quit? I know, I feel I should be getting a bit more angry at it all, but I have a good job. I have good colleagues. I have a good contract, something which is currently (especially in my business) rarer then hen's teeth - and a prerequisite for a mortgage on a new house that I do want within the next three years or so.

At home it is a bit iffy due to Lies being out of a job. She is job-searching to and fro, but the jobs in her preferred segment seem exceedingly popular and while she has been on quite a few interviews, no dice yet. Which will probably lead to the fact that for another year the vacation money will have to be used to bolster reserves, to buffer for long-term unemployment. It is making neither of us happy campers. Upgrade plans for the house, the garden and various equipment have been postponed for years now, on account of necessary replacements (like the car last year), and again the situation has evolved to what it currently is due to perfectly reasonable and explainable causes. Still sucks. And it is very demotivating to come home to a depressed girlfriend.

All of this is having its impact on my hobby-life. I have good solid plans for a mini-Warhammer campaign, I want to try my hand at a Pathfinder Adventure Path. I am pretty far with adding new units to my already formidable Empire army. But I have ran out of steam. I really want to replace Ambrogino with a new character that challenges me further - Bertram and Junstal are for the light-hearted fun, and Sparks will soon be replaced as well. It makes me feel in limbo. I can't enjoy it as I did because I am no longer able to put the other issues out of my mind, 'poisoning' my own hobby experiences.

The main problem is that these kind of things tend to blossom out into various other areas. I have been compensating for a good deal of time, and the reserves are empty. The tank is dry. I can't keep my juggling act up any longer or with any more balls if I want to stay happy. My motivation is gone. I drag myself out of the bed each morning. It takes discipline to keep going to fitness, to keep doing social engagements, and in the meanwhile I worry about my health, both physical and mental. I keep questioning my own past decisions, projecting different scenarios on 'how it could / should have been'. This is fundamentally unhealthy. Failing to adress these problems is now costing my willpower points, even while fully understanding while I can't adress them right now.

It takes all my efforts to keep the status at 'quo' and keep the change of work on track. Had to get testy yesterday to ensure that it won't take even longer. And that drains the crap out of me.

so, there ya have it. Might explain to a few of you my distractions lately. I've talked about it with a few friends here and there, and it has helped. EE has been absolutely fracking ace about it despite that fact that I am currently extremely flaky (at best). We'll get there. I am just done with it taking so much time and effort that I have to put so much on hold yet again. It are fundamentally first world problems. Even if worst comes to worst I have a solid backup-plan which will ensure that I don't end up unemployed and destitute. But they weigh heavily on me, none the less.

So, as promised: my review of the Empire army book that brings the Empire fully up to 8th edition.

( Here be Warhammer )

The verdict: overall I am fairly happy. While the book in my opinion lacks anything that justifies a huge ‘yay’, the Empire itself has been the solid middle-of-the-ground contender for years, and much in the way of change has been a re-balancing act. The army has gained heavily with the minor tweaks to the infantry, with a slight cost to the Imperial Gunline, and has become viable as an offensive army even in the face of vampires, and ogres. It depends heavily on Force Multiplication – all of its parts working to be greater together then separate, and figuring out that bit is going to be keeping me busy for a bit, especially as it will become paramount for opponents to tear it down before smashing into my main battleline.

Now for some painting, and then I’ll be poking several of my regular opponents for a few practice matches.

So, since I am personally and professionally at a bit of an awkward phase (more on that no doubt later on this blog, if I be feeling like it), I am going to post a few things about the upcoming 8th edition release for my Warhammer Empire army.

While I had intended to start playing Warhammer with a Wood Elf army, discussions with a friend and the arrival of the very first plastic regiment boxes for Empire swayed me to that side early 5th edition. I played many battles and was quite consistently trashed by Vampire Lords, Demons of various kinds and the occasional ork. Later I learned to wield the Power of the Beard (in-joke) and held my own, but it was clear that the 'jack of many trades, master of none' approach of the Empire was too haphazard. I started collecting massed infantry and fielded armies of 200 models (and upwards) to stem the tide.

Then 6th edition rolled around, and everything changed. Gone was 'Herohammer', the edition of mighty special characters, and enter a lean-and-mean new game. Many choices were stripped from armies, and hundreds of spells and magic items were distilled in a series of shared 'lores' and 'common items', plus a dozen or so 'racial items' unique to each army. Massed infantry ruled the day. I started a winning streak. A really long one. Didn't play as much as I wanted to, cause I started larping and studying. The only bit I regretted losing were the Halflings, of which I had a nice detachment - but they did fine as 'Huntsmen' - Archers with the Scout special rule.

7th came along almost unnoticed for me, but I played in it none the less. Mainly the Siege of Middenheim, where I fielded any kind of Empire army, from the traditional gun-line to the totally unexpected all-mounted knight-pistolier army. Hey, Knights are a Core Choice for me *grin*. The new army performed extremely well under all circumstances, making full use of its flexibility - especially against opponents who were expecting a standard gunline. Only high-end special characters like Teclis and Archon proved any real trouble. And Archon I technically never had to face - I blew away his horse, forcing the 800 point special character to walk the rest of the way to Middenheim. Funny story.

8th edition was a major relaunch as a lot of friends suddenly got into it. I play a lot at the moment, and my army is doing well in the league. While I have yet to play the new Ogres and Vampire Counts it has so far held up to most enemies again due to the aforementioned flexiblity. I have had to add my Steam Tank to my army more often then not due to the increasing prevalance of large monsters (who love eating massed infantry). The 7th edition rules with 8th edition errata did raise a few questions and a few things are still a bit awkward, but I hope those things to be adressed. So, here goes - before I know anything about the rules, here are my initial thoughts and expectations.

- Clear rules for the Hellblaster, Mortar and Steam Tank: while it sounds like I am shooting myself in the foot, I think these are overpowered. They need to be put in line with the arty of other races in order to rank up well against those.
- Hope they kept the Pigeon Bombs, the single most funny character option in the entire Empire Army.
- On that note, hope they kept all the hilarious Empire Engineer stuff and fluff.
- An option to fill the gap between the Inner Circle Knights and the Steam Tank. Seems to be coming in the shape of the Demigryph Knights - Monstrous Cavelry. No wings on those things, tho, so Bretonnian Knights still look the fancy-schmancy on their Pegasus mounts.
- Useful Greatswords. I honestly consider those overpriced for what they do. I vastly prefer swordsmen, spearmen and halberdiers, supported by pistoliers.
- Not entirely sure what I think about the new 'Warmachines'. We got plenty of those. Hope they are not just a gimmick. Chariots are nice, though.
- New Imperial Gryphon (with optional second head), which does suggest it will be more widely useful then just very fancy character mount.
- Fresh Grand Theogonist, Warrior Priest and a Witch Hunter. While I hope they do not add to many special rules I would prefer to see that bit of the Empire a bit more fleshed out then just cool models. I have the classic models already, so bring on the good stuff.
- New Karl Franz model. Interesting. Though I will stick to my classic metal one, which I have yet to ever use in a battle. Yeah, that is right, I play Empire for 15 years and not used the Emperor once. Cause he is the Emperor. You do not bring him to every Skirmish, you field him in a suitably epic setting. Already made a deal with my regular Tomb Kings opponent to deploy him in an epic battle against Setthra in a few years time.

So.

Now wait till the 31st for the 'official' info, and till april 7th for the new stuff. Looking forward to it.

Been a nice few weeks, with finally some awesome larping action. Unity was very Unity-ish. The next will be the last one, and we had a few good 'deep shit' points on this one. Consensus for the last one is that we are all gonna die, while some of us might have the chance to be the creators of the new universe. It will most assuredly be a very volatile mix after having pulled together and defeated the heralds. Our soldier group especially have started asking... awkward questions. While some civvies might regard this positively, an Imperial Guard running through the stages of grief could be an intense experience for bystanders. We did a lot with the peeps on the rest of the station this time around, from diplomatic ferries to assault missions. Our new gear served us very well. The new ranking stripes look awesome and I am very proud of our group picture.
The pang of loss I feel for the coming Unity being the last one is somewhat cushioned by a good basis of plans that has been laid for re-engineering the concept for the Chronos larp. We'll integrate into its background (unlike Unity, where we were 'externals') and with all our basic gear pretty damned solid we are focussing on a different kind of costume upgrades. Still, it'll be a hard moment saying goodbye to the 'old' concept as it was.

The week after Unity I luckily had plenty of time to chill so I worked, watched 'Generation Kill', played the Mass Effect 3 Multiplayer Demo and picked up a few logistical things. Decided I wanted to build a new Warhammer army, partially with old bits of my own, in order to create a Sylvanian army. That might go on hold a bit as rumors are strong that Empire will be renewed in April. I will wait till after the release for planning. With Lies' job done and her busily searching for a new one we are making the most of the free time by chilling and doing the stuff she couldn't while working. Take the good with the bad. We were able to go to Spijkenisse to surprise my mother on her bday with most of the family to showing up in the restaurant where she was having dinner. It is wonderful to have time for that.

Last weekend we went to Charm, at the same location as Unity. Now that was a bit awkward, with several key people from Unity also being present. We made a few bad cross-over jokes and I specifically choose to sleep away from where I usually am. Lies was playing and I was NPC so that was a good change from the norm. The Charm plot was very ambitious, requiring that the player group (reasonably set in their ways) would re-think a few of its approaches. It proved a hardy challenge, especially if you take into account the people that were sick-ish or had cancelled due to the aforementioned, including regular Monster-SL Judith (missed you, dear!). While it was hard it was regarded positively more often then not, and I applaud the brave decision to make the Necropool a nasty, nasty city. I mean, it is been in the Charm lore for ages and it needed to be done justice.
I had a few talky-roles, and spent the rest of the time with the simply joy of being a random Zombie, Ghoul or human servant of the Necromancers. The players talked, sneaked and politic-ed all throughout the city, culminating into a massive ritual with an explosion as distraction on the Saturday evening. A sizable and influential chunk of the players laid down the lives of their characters in it, resulting in a high price paid for the eventual freedom of the regular citizens of the Necropool - most by choice but some as collateral damage. The end result was one of the better scenarios that the organization had projected, and the players are in pursuit of the last hard-core remnants who are fleeing into a nearby swamp (a last redoubt). The city is stabilized somewhat and the conservative houses have taken control to finalize things with the armies of the free peoples in order to come to peaceful settlement.
Had a great deal of fun talking, fighting, hissing or casting spells at the players, and the NPC crew was running quite smooth. Due to the clothing requirements I dumped most of my regular kit and brought a mix of clothes from the Dorestad-musical, Dead Fox Junction, Badger's Business and a few of my own regular work suits. It worked well enough, though I miss having my armour around.

All in all, a positive pair of weekend with plenty of fun mixed in. That is how I like my larps.

My week has been unexpectedly busy since then, though Thursday and Friday should be regular days again. I've been hopping throughout the country for one thing or another, so I am looking forward to a few simple 'go there and do this' days. The new fitness schedule has brought plenty of muscle ache but is very nice, and the D&D party has successfully navigated a side-quest which resulted in a few very nice nicknacks and financial resources - we resume our quest in the main part of Dragon's Delve in two weeks.
Saturday we have a meeting with the Unit for Chronos larp to have a few pics taken as a part of the costume standard of one of the factions. Feel very flattered, and it is nice that our costume standard is regarded as 'pretty cool'. The peeps of that larp seem to be taking the look and feel of the larp very seriously, so I am pretty hopeful that it will look damned good if the orga has anything to do with it.

That is pretty much it. Great start of March!

Just after the events of Unity VI - Divide by Zero.

++ Start Entry - 28-02-3012 - 04:34 Standard Station Time ++

Duty.

An important word. A word of weight. More so then courage or honor. More even then loyalty.

But what if duty is meaningless?

If someone would have asked this question four years ago, I would have dispatched the Emperor's Mercy. Two years ago, remitted to the care of Biscuit. A year ago, penal duty in the UAF. But now, I shrug. I sit. I clean my gear. And wonder if I should not be granted the Emperor's Mercy instead.

What happens if what you fight to preserve is questionable at best, and then becomes devoid of purpose entirely? Duty has weight only if it serves a worthy purpose. But duty has a quality. Because duty is first, because this word is ingrained in every fibre of my being. But if the duty of the unit is only to the unit, then what of a higher purpose? What of the deaths caused, what of the suffering endured? All in the name of sacred duty.

What is duty if its only service is to itself? What right do we have then to do our duty?

I do not know. Is legacy to our duty the only hope, then? Is that even an option? And is it enough?

That I do not know, either.

Only needing two hours of sleep a night seems wonderful, until you are alone in the dark plagued with questions you cannot answer, problems you cannot solve.

Dicktits.

++ End Entry ++

++ Locked under Omega-Magenta encryption. Restricted thoughts detected in syntax structure. Soldier 487/7 - 832742082 marked for psychological evaluation. Forwarding message to senior officer ++

++ Thank you for using Military Liaison Battlespace Control System ++

Just before Unity VI - Divide by Zero.

++ Garretson-74656, Rosebud fleet, undisclosed location ++

It had almost felt normal. They'd bunked down in the Garretson for the last few months, in their own rooms. With the Garretson fully functioning, the light at normal levels and no one but themselves roaming the corridors it had felt like home. It were the simple things. Training together without the alarm going of any second. Sharing the morning, midday and evening meals. A return to the old schedule of keeping the ship clean, washing the dishes and sundry minor tasks that you'd expect on a regular Guard vessel. And training. Lots and lots of training.

Their ship had been running smoothly as ever, with even the very last of the minor damage fixed by replacement parts and stiff grunt work by the nanobots. He'd spent most of the maintenance time refitting the shuttle bay for their new Spectre and finally replacing the main sensor dish lost on Omega X with the Phased Array they had salvaged near Bold Venture after the whole Primax debacle. After six years the repair list that Millie had compiled the day after their fateful crash was complete. Weapon drills and tactical simulations filled most of their spare time, and it was doing them all good. Without the constant distractions of guarding the station their focus could finally shift to making improvements. Almost home. But not quite.

One only had to step outside the Garretson into the massive hangar and walk a lap around the Rosebud ship to feel out of place again. The crew functioned well enough, but without uniforms Sparks could never tell who was who. He was glad he had first met the captain as she was sitting on the bridge - he would not have guessed her to be captain by either her manner or her clothes, and most of the crew seemed to be on first name basis. Still, the ship ran well enough and her crew worked hard. About that at least the Rosebud leadership had been up front.

There was plenty to do. After weeks of reverse-engineering the captured Herald-tech Sparks had several improvements planned out for their gear, primarily the shield projectors. With Top's permission they'd spent a full day rebuilding their shield generators into a more efficient build, vastly decreasing power requirements and opening new possibilities for an 'Aegis Mk IV'. And there was yet more to do. He'd still barely scratched the surface of what the Herald implants could do, also because the samples he got were badly degraded, either by battle damage or design. The sensor scans of their first encounter with the implants three years earlier were of limited use because Sparks simply did not understand how hacking worked. With mild surprise he noted that he missed being able to walk three tables over to poke Jeff to ask for help. And he hadn't even started with the stealth shielding, quantum teleportation devices and gun targeting systems.

Whenever he returned to the Garretson she rang with the sound of his squadmates sparring, training, practicing or abusing the rather excellent video system in the briefing room to watch old war-movies. With Millie fully operational they had their full database at their fingertips for the first time in years - not just the war-relevant stuff - and with that came a few perks. It was a happy time, despite the gathering storm. Top had spent hours discussing stuff with Patch and Brains, and each of them had meetings with the Rosebud people outside. It was clear the quiet was not going to last. Elements of the Unity and Traditionalists would continue to clash, squandering precious resources, and the systems were all littered with the bodies of warriors and hulks of spaceships that could have been so much more useful in the coming conflict. There wasn't even a fully formed plan of how to stop the Heralds yet. And the clock kept ticking.

It was a surprise to no one that after two months of relative peace and quiet Top formally announced that they would be returning to Bold Venture soon. Most of the team had expected them to return earlier, but apparently there was some agenda of the Rosebud leadership that required them to return at an appointed time. And it would be soon. Things were sure to be different upon their return, but just how different only time would tell.

"Briefing at 19:00 on the command deck, wheels up at 20:00!" came Top's voice over the intercom.

And with that their 'vacation' from Bold Venture was officially over.

New year is going fast. Last month I turned over one of my clients to a collegue in preparation for leaving TB for a new challenge. Took some getting used to, but I am happy with the decision. This time until the time I can turn over my last client is filled with a few mini-projects and some substituting here and there for collegues that are going on vacation, so that keeps me busy. Other then that I have no idea what the next step will be, and that is a feeling that I need to get used too. Not bad, mind you. Just new-ish. I did say no to anything that I know will cause undue stress. Stress due to a lot of hard work, due to 'balls to the walls' time, no problem. Stress because a client is not willing to either take the time or hire the staff to do it proper, I am done with that. I know these are hard times, but perhaps it is smarter not to change for the sake of change on a shoe-string budget with high demands. It is not like us technies can walk in, click our heels three times and say 'no place like 127.0.0.1...'.

EE weekend came and gone, and we have new evil (tm) plans. Besides the usual good fun we formally made the commitment for a new larp event cycle, and that coupled with Exit 2 has spawned a new locationhunt. A lot of hard work with a lot of maybe's and quite a few no's - honestly searching for locations is one of my least favorite things. Necessary evil, shall we keep it at that? Several eventful weeks have kept me from doing anything playerwise except the Aon Ball, which was awesome but also about endings. February will only see Unity, but after that there should be plenty of things to keep me busy. I'll definatively be sporting one, perhaps two, new characters - and I am significantly upgrading several others in terms of arms, armour and costume. I have a nice stack of reserves now so feel a lot more comfortable in spending a little more here and there. With our Unit 487/504 arts 'n crafts day done too most preps for that have also been done leaving me fairly light in the modding department, so I'll go paint some more Warhammer. Woe me ;-)

On the wargaming/tabletop front I've been able to strike the motherload with Battlefleet Gothic - a good Marktplaats bid netted me what I need to finish my fleets in one fell swoop. The end result of that plus what I had massive Imperial and Chaos fleet, plus a nice stack of Eldar and misc. vessels (including a few 'Orky shipz'). Plenty for Rogue Trader and casual Battlefleet. D&D is going well enough - we converted to Pathfinder (though I shall stubbornly keep referring to it as D&D) to great delight of all, and our first session was smooth enough. The weekend fell through on account of circumstances, but the next few sessions will see us trying to make enough gold to cover rezzing our Rogue and buying off her Negative Levels, probably plowing through some nearly old tower which has been acting uppity (spewing out Devils, prolly). Beyond that, exploring the third level of the Dungeon should also yield results - hopefully we can do some succesful diplomacy down there.

So, that is pretty much it. Not much, really, but I am not complaining too much. I am enjoying the winter weather and clearing out old larp supplies to permanent storage in order to make room for new swag and clear the back room for use as hobby-space again instead of just storage. I'd love to do a few new photoblogs though, so perhaps more of that in the future.

The last few months I've been working hard to remedy various work-related situations, managing them as was taught to me in my ETC course... but results have been middling at best. While a bit naive (I admit), my brain still rails at the idea of "I've done everything right, why isn't it working?" - and that has led to its share of distraction and frustration.

Enter the Angry Marines.

( Being a somewhat serious discourse on catharsis and guilty pleasures. Necessary profanity beyond this point )

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Thought for the Day: Ruthlessness is the kindness of the wise.
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( Wow, maximum amount of profanity in a post, evah! Editor did not like that... )