The Itch
My first week on the job was okay. While it is a great assignment I got it because the previous guy who did it died of cardiac arrest at the age of 31. Yeah. THAT young. It feels macabre to be rummaging through a dead man's files and working on his computer. I yet have to make this post my own. Still, it is nice and quiet. For the first time in a long while it is giving me a lot of alone time. Just me and my mind, which has resulted in me spending a lot of quality time with me. Loving it.
The ETC course I started last Thursday from OGD is doing what it is intended to do: make me think about myself. This past year-and-a-half I have just kept going, not stopping to smell the roses. Now, I have to. It is good to be on the introspective side of the spectrum again and that has led me to think a great deal on a simple matter: me always wanting to be special.
In the past I endeavoured to be special for a simple reason: protection. With bullies at every corner, I spent a lot of my formative years amongst those older then me. I performed because I wanted to be special so I could escape the bullies. A little known fact is that I wanted to do Gymnasium instead of Atheneum because I thought that Latin would scare off the popular types, and I was right. After a while I found that I loved it far more then just as protection, but that did not invalidate the original reasons. The last time I thought about this was the NPC weekend before Lextalionis I. We had a run-through test with the Primogen Council and the other NPC's in my old school, the Krimpenerwaard College.
It was incredibly unreal to have my 'new' life and 'new' friends interact with my old life, especially because the music club was practising right across the rooms we were using, and a few local peeps that know me and my family asked me what we were doing, and I explained it in laymen's terms (There was a great moment where. As I was talking to the guy both Suus and Simone walked out of the bathroom in full Torry gear, looking the part. He remarked dryly "I see why you do it". Nope, not my reason, but still funny). At that moment I just realized that my old life couldn't hold a candle to my new one. I was just scared a lot then. Of a lot of things. Though I managed to avoid most bullies I still caught my share of flak, and I was happy to be out of there. I survived by being special, by being allowed to hang with the older kids and the teachers. Best tactic? Perhaps not. But I survived.
Am I still that way? No. I have changed. Grown. Evolved, even. Pun intented.
But there are a few shreds left. Bits of personality that I've only partially even understood, let alone come to terms with. It all boils down to "Who is Sander?". And who is Sna, for that matter? Same person, different aspect? Sna was built as a shield, yes. Is it still? And if yes, is it still necessary? Questions, questions.
So, on with the rest of my life.
Prima's been officially declared dead. Salvage guys are looking her over, and I have made an appointment to check if I still had stuff in there that's worth getting out. There should still be a high-def map of the Uden grounds in there, for instance (never leave home without it *grin*). I have been looking at replacements with my father as I will get her full worth refunded.
So I went to work on Tuesday with Kaylee, who on the way back blew out her gastank. Yep. Blew out. About a year-and-a-half ago a repair was done to the tank, and appearently the new pump has rotated her way through the bottom of the tank. Luckily the tank was only a quarter full, and I managed to park her in front of my house, but she is not going anywhere. So, down two cars in the span of twice as many days I took up my insurance company's offer on replacement transport, to be picked up Wednesday. Went to work with public transport and went to Lekkerkerk after work to pick up the loan-car. It was a relaxing bus-ride and a nice walk through the hinterlands of the Krimpenerwaard. A lot of the old industry, mainly ship-building, is still there, and it feels familiar, somehow. I'd quite been looking forward to the loaner. Always one to drive different types of cars I had hoped for one of the new Fiats or Volkswagens. What I got was a Daihatsu Cuore, just a tiny touch smaller then Suus' Yoshi car, and just as red. I could not help but see the humor in that, and in my red tin can I drove out of Lekkerkerk, laughing.
Thursday Lies went to Within Temptation with Jo, and I went to Utrecht to evaluate Lex. Drove away quite happy to find that the girls had beat me home and were chilling, too. Jo stayed the night as she had OGD course on Fridaymorning. I went to work then and called it a day fairly early as it was quiet. Started the weekend early and well, with beautifull weather and a good mood. Prepped my WoW main, Galadaeros, for the coming raid on Steamvaults, which we managed to do quite easly once we got warmed up, finishing very early and doing the complete Ogre King Questline to boot, which involved five bosses. Also prepped Aisli for the upcoming Crossfire excursion to the Sunken Temple. I've missed Crossfire. Spent the rest of my weekend chilling, walking, going to Sweeney Todd (good movie) and working on my last Lex thing for a bit: send the debriefing.
With the weekend looking fantastic I was in a great mood. Good weather, nice plans. Was happily afterdipping Lex, and suddenly got "The Itch". The sun was shining, I was feeling the cool wind on my skin and standing there barefeet in my bathrobe with a cup of coffee, it struck me: it is high time to larp. A program on discovery featured Ray Mears, the survival expert, recreating an old bow and arrows with a bowyer using stone age tools. Looking at them in the sun, sitting around a fire and working on those weapons really got my blood going. Heck, I'll grab any excuse. Luckily Yoshida is next weekend, cause me, I'm itching. I'd even get my owl out of the closet if I hadn't damned good IC reasons not to go. I really feel like the coming year, and the Exodus plans we got made me only happier. It is probably a side-effect of me getting rested, too, and I found myself digging up my larping stuff whistling all the way. Time to dress-up pretty, fetch the blades, load the guns, whip up the potions and raise a little hell...
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sna) wrote,
rejuvenated
